Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
