Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are two peas in an std pod
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
