I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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