my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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