Sponge bath it is.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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