i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
