I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
