It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
