i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
