Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
