Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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