Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
