Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
