OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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