Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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