i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Welp...herpes.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
