The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
