He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
