Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
