the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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