Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
