come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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