Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
