remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
