Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
wow bdsm is so cute
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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