i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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