Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
