Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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