I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
