i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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