Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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