i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
