My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
