Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
