Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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