why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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