I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
