i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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