everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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