no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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