...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
