thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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