I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
