and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
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Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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