It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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