found the other keg... it's in the tree
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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