she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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