You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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