my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
