she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
