that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Randomize
