We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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