Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
