After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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