Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
