just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
