This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
