Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
