the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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