I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
