I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
