How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
