Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
