the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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