I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
