Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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