I will die if light touches me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
